Sometimes time increases it's speed. So fast that I cannot spot when it went. So fast that I realise I'm just sitting here while it's passing me by. So fast that I could hear the sirens of helplessness playing in my ear.
It's yesterday that I was 4 feet 11 inches, stretching myself at 12 in the night to make sure I get to 5 feet as soon as possible. And the next day I open my eyes, I've well crossed 5 feet and everything around me has changed. My life is perfect. The best girl in the world, no parent problems, friendship intact, no extra-controversial school complaints. Love my life. Wonder why people get depressed at all. Can't they see how beautiful life is? And don't they realise that every bad phase of life has to pass? God bless them.
Wake up next day. Strange. How come time passed so fast? Plug the charger out of my cell phone's butt and check the date and time just to make sure I'm not fifty years ahead of my last remembrance. Nah. It's just April. Just been sleeping four months. Find a page under my bed. Tears trickling down my face. Arjun's dad is gone. How could that have happened? No not possible... FUCK! No no no. Call up Yash anad sk. Yeah he's gone. Gone forever...
And I cant remember anything again. Open my eyes. Grab my cell phone. July 22nd.
1 Message Received. She's still angry about the fight.
I sigh. Punch the wall beside my bed. Aah my fingers hurt. I try to remember what had happened. I have blur visions of me crying. I love her and because of some reason I can't be what I actually am. And this pressure is getting the nerves inside my head to explode! Im losing her! No No No! I cant live without her! I feel so guilty... I hurt her... Never realised Im so addicted to her! She can't leave me! We're the perfect couple! I'll be responsible! I'll be perfect! Back to what I was! Just come back please! Please! I promise I can take care of you! I know Im saying the same things all over again! But damn I do love you! Believe me... Who will answer my stupid questions? Who will make me feel better? Who will be you?
And I open my eyes today. It's raining outside. I watch the rain drops falling on my window pane. Plug the charger inside my cell phone's butt. But this time, I keep the cell phone back to its place. This time I dont want to know what is up with the present. Im too scared. Too scared to step out or look under my pillow or check my cell phone out. So I just lay there watching the rain. Slip my ear phones on and listen to some soft music. Blur visions of remembrance come again... My adademics suck... Get caught up in bogus school controversies... I convice her to stay... She tells me that this time she's just staying because Im begging... I remember writing somewhere that I dont deserve her at all... I hurt her so much... I'm hurting her so much... I get the feeling that many things have gone wrong since the last time I woke up...
The music stops all of a sudden and my cell phone starts vibrating. It's her.
"Good morning Aniket!"
Her voice brightens up my world. Like a butterfly in a garden of thorns, like the colours of a kaleidoscope trickling into my colourless world, like the first ray of sunshine through the dark clouds, like the joy of rain in an empty desert... She steps inside my world...
And although probably everything in my life is going wrong at this moment, at this moment, I am peaceful. Happy. Just lying here listening to her blabbering away about her dream and her instructions on how to shampoo my hair. Wont deny Im scared of the future. Wont deny Im excited about it too. Wont deny that I do care about it. Just a bit.
She ends the call. The most chirpiest 'I love you' ever.
I smile and get up.
I was wrong. How could I even doubt for a moment?
Life Is beautiful...
It's yesterday that I was 4 feet 11 inches, stretching myself at 12 in the night to make sure I get to 5 feet as soon as possible. And the next day I open my eyes, I've well crossed 5 feet and everything around me has changed. My life is perfect. The best girl in the world, no parent problems, friendship intact, no extra-controversial school complaints. Love my life. Wonder why people get depressed at all. Can't they see how beautiful life is? And don't they realise that every bad phase of life has to pass? God bless them.
Wake up next day. Strange. How come time passed so fast? Plug the charger out of my cell phone's butt and check the date and time just to make sure I'm not fifty years ahead of my last remembrance. Nah. It's just April. Just been sleeping four months. Find a page under my bed. Tears trickling down my face. Arjun's dad is gone. How could that have happened? No not possible... FUCK! No no no. Call up Yash anad sk. Yeah he's gone. Gone forever...
And I cant remember anything again. Open my eyes. Grab my cell phone. July 22nd.
1 Message Received. She's still angry about the fight.
I sigh. Punch the wall beside my bed. Aah my fingers hurt. I try to remember what had happened. I have blur visions of me crying. I love her and because of some reason I can't be what I actually am. And this pressure is getting the nerves inside my head to explode! Im losing her! No No No! I cant live without her! I feel so guilty... I hurt her... Never realised Im so addicted to her! She can't leave me! We're the perfect couple! I'll be responsible! I'll be perfect! Back to what I was! Just come back please! Please! I promise I can take care of you! I know Im saying the same things all over again! But damn I do love you! Believe me... Who will answer my stupid questions? Who will make me feel better? Who will be you?
And I open my eyes today. It's raining outside. I watch the rain drops falling on my window pane. Plug the charger inside my cell phone's butt. But this time, I keep the cell phone back to its place. This time I dont want to know what is up with the present. Im too scared. Too scared to step out or look under my pillow or check my cell phone out. So I just lay there watching the rain. Slip my ear phones on and listen to some soft music. Blur visions of remembrance come again... My adademics suck... Get caught up in bogus school controversies... I convice her to stay... She tells me that this time she's just staying because Im begging... I remember writing somewhere that I dont deserve her at all... I hurt her so much... I'm hurting her so much... I get the feeling that many things have gone wrong since the last time I woke up...
The music stops all of a sudden and my cell phone starts vibrating. It's her.
"Good morning Aniket!"
Her voice brightens up my world. Like a butterfly in a garden of thorns, like the colours of a kaleidoscope trickling into my colourless world, like the first ray of sunshine through the dark clouds, like the joy of rain in an empty desert... She steps inside my world...
And although probably everything in my life is going wrong at this moment, at this moment, I am peaceful. Happy. Just lying here listening to her blabbering away about her dream and her instructions on how to shampoo my hair. Wont deny Im scared of the future. Wont deny Im excited about it too. Wont deny that I do care about it. Just a bit.
She ends the call. The most chirpiest 'I love you' ever.
I smile and get up.
I was wrong. How could I even doubt for a moment?
Life Is beautiful...
