Hate, Death and Despair...

FUCK!
I heard my mind screaming out that one word that couldn't possibly carry all my frustration.

I lay on the roof of my building in that small space with no boundaries where all the satellites were kept. A girl I know from the other society seemed to wave her hand wildly to just make me wave back. I could have just waved back so that she would be satisfied and possibly would go back. But right now, I wanted to throw a brick at her face.

Everything that could go wrong was going wrong. I had a fight with my girlfriend and it didn't seem to get better. I was having fights with her quite frequently those days and I hated it since I was madly in love with her. Insecurity was at the highest level, but there seemed to be something else that killed me more than the insecurity.

I closed my eyes and let my mind go off to flashback...


THE FIRST NIGHT


I carried the oxygen cylinder while the ambulance guys and my best friend Arjun's brother Maanik carried the stretcher on which lay his father with his hands forced to be kept on his stomach by a pair of elastic belts.
"Move the goddamn sofa Aniket! And open the door!" Screamed Maanik.
I did as he instructed me to do and we carried went down the stairs and stared as they pushed the stretcher into the back space of the ambulance. I handed them the oxygen cylinder. One of Arjun's cousin brothers got into the ambulance and we turned as the ambulance went away behind us...

We climbed back the stairs.

Arjun: Thanks for staying back man.
Yash: Thanks? You're such an asshole man.
Me: Hope nothing is wrong with him... When do you think he'll be back?
Maanik: Is just a minor problem man! He'll probably be back in 2 days or something!
The hospitals will probably throw him out! Or he'll slang them so much that
they would have to throw him out!
Arjun: Haha yeah. Probably...

We ordered two large pizzas and coke and munched and joked till 1. We played like a mini version of cricket and for some reason I couldn't stop laughing and we all laughed like patients from mental asylums so oblivious to what was about to happen... So oblivious to angels mourning death right above our heads...

We were in the middle of a cricket match when suddenly the doorbell rang. Yash opened the door and Arjun's aunt entered. She asked Arjun and Maanik to pack their bags as they were going to stay with them for the next some days. We were sad on the sudden separation which would lead to the loss of all the joy in the coming few hours...

And another thing was that me and Yash decided that we would sleep over at my place now. But none of us wanted to go home.

I and Yash had the same thing in our mind. Tonight would the night we were going to enjoy all night. Tonight would be the night we would rule the streets all night! Tonight, we would not be going home!

We faked calling at my place and telling my mom that we're coming back. Arjun's aunt dropped us right outside my society. We got out of our car and hugged Arjun.

"'Everything's going to be fine yaar.' Yash said. 'Don't worry. Call us in the morning, ok?'"
Arjun kept staring at the ground and said in a rather depressed, low tone.
"Something is definitely wrong. Otherwise auntie wouldn't have come to pick us up. I know something is wrong..."

Before we could say anything, he quickly got into the car. He went away.

We waited until the car went out of sight. Tonight was our night now!



THE ORANGE LIGHTS AND DOTS.


We walked through the golden light of the streets first and talked about the current problems we were having. The first forty minutes were awesome... And the time after that was HELL!

We had nothing to talk about and the mosquitoes apprised us to the fact that our decision was deep shit. We felt sleepy and we were as stupid to walk a long way in those forty minutes never realising that we had to come back the same distance!


At 4, we reached my place and rang the doorbell. My mom opened the door and looked damn confused. We said we'd explain everything tomorrow morning and went to my room upstairs, as sleepy as rabbits during winters and as lethargic as sloths.

We both stared in wonder at the heavenly mattress on which we rested. We thanked the person who invented the fan and promised to hail the guy who made the air conditioner.

At 7, we both woke up but none of us wanted to go to school. We decided we wouldn't, but a call from Maanik and a steady command left us no choice but to go there.



DEATH


10: 30 AM. Our maths teacher calls me and another of my classmates outside.

"We just got to know that Arjun's father expired... Dont tell anyone... He doesnt have a mother either, so please help him get through this when you meet him and..."


I felt myself falling to the ground and tears crawling down my cheeks. I spoke and joked with him every single day and it was a rule to go to his place after school everyday and have a bit of lunch with him. We just saw him like a few hours ago! He couldn't be dead!
I saw Yash running and fall to the floor as Udit told him what had happened.
I couldn't stand there with all the noise. I ran to the ground and Yash followed...
We both stopped running near the stable and cried silently...
There was no where to go... He was dead. No more. What would happen to Arjun and Maanik, both in their board years, we didn't know. We knew nothing...
He was dead, and his absence is all that was present in our mind... Death had caught us off guard, and it made us know what pain was. Death had brought the deepest fears of our mind. Death had made us hate it more than what we had anticipated.






It's 4th June today. Arjun and Maanik have long gone to Bangalore to stay with one of their relatives. We spent my birthday together, which was like 3 weeks ago. We speak on the phone and he tells us he wants to return and we tell him we want him to come back. I'd let him smoke and booze as much as he wanted if he came back. I'd pay the table money in the pool games we'd play and I'd download Chains of Olympus for his PlayStation as many times as he'd tell me to. But I guess I can change nothing. Neither can Yash, and nor can Arjun. Everything is over, and we all have to take the blow as well as we're expected to.


Thank you Anshika, Arjun, Yash, and Gurinder for all the support you've given me.
I love you guys...
I'll always be there for you... No matter what.

True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
-Charles Caleb Colton-